


little talks

by okayhotshot



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 23:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13110534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayhotshot/pseuds/okayhotshot
Summary: Leia and Han have a talk after their first kiss.





	little talks

She shouldn’t have ran away.

It’s what she keeps telling herself as she looks up at the ceiling in the crew’s quarters of the Falcon. And she’s not chastising herself for the reasons the thought she would be. She’s been lying awake for hours, playing those moments from the engine room over and over again her mind.

Han’s hands on hers. Him slowly inching closer. And his lips. Gods, his lips. Soft and warm and caring to the point that it made her heart flutter and feel like it was expanding in the very depths of her. And she couldn’t deny it anymore. She couldn’t hide it anymore. Her hands were in his hair and she was kissing him again. Until Threepio came in and interrupted and instead of staying, instead of talking to Han about what had just happened, she ran. She left and locked herself in this room until she was sure that everyone was asleep or shut down.

She thought she would be angry with herself for kissing back. She should be. She can’t do this. She can’t have feelings for Han. And it’s not that she doesn’t want to. Gods, does she want to. But she’s lost so much, what if she loses him, too? But instead, she’s more furious with herself for not facing what had happened. She can’t leave Han hanging like that. She refuses. She just doesn’t know how this conversation with play out.

If she wants to keep him safe from her terrible luck, she would tell him to stay away. She would keep up the act that she can barely stand to be around him. (An act that he surely knows is fake by now. She’s let it drop too many times). She should tell him to stay away. She can’t bear the thought of anything bad happening to him, but she also can’t stand the thought of not being with him. Even now she craves the closeness they shared in the engine room, the feeling of his lips on hers. She’s a goner now, and she knows it.

She sighs, turning over in the bed, back facing the door. Maybe if she doesn’t look at it, she won’t be tempted to go find Han and make this right. But sleep won’t find her, no matter how hard she tries. She finally flings off the covers and swings open the door to make her way to the captain’s quarters.

She knocks first as she approaches, but there’s no answer but a soft snoring sound. For a split second, she thinks about turning around and taking to him in the morning, but she knows it’s useless. She won’t rest until she talks to him. It has to be now.

She press the button to his door and it swishes open for her and she steps inside. She smiles softly as she sees Han sleeping, and she wonders if she should disturb him. She wonders if he’s been thinking, too, if he only just got to sleep. But she can’t stand it.

She doesn’t say anything. She simply pulls back the covers and climbs into the bed beside of him, and he starts stirring, a little groggy at first. “Leia? What’re you doing?”

“I hope this is okay,” she says softly and Han nods, a gentle smile gracing his features as he fights back a yawn.

“‘Course it is, sweetheart,” he says, sliding an arm around her and letting her nestle closer to him. “But I’m a little confused. Didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me after earlier.”

She buries her face in his chest for the briefest of moments. “No, that’s the opposite of what I want,” she admits.

Han shifts a little and before Leia has time to realize what’s happening, he’s taken her chin with his fingers and tilted her head up so she’s looking at him once again. “Then why did you leave?”

She swallows hard, feeling her eyes swimming with tears. “Because you were right. I am afraid.”

Han moves his fingers until he can cup her cheek and his thumb swipes away the couple of stray tears that have managed to slip out. “What are you afraid of?”

“Losing you,” she says softly, her voice trembling. “Han, I’ve...I’ve lost so much. My entire planet, my parents, my family, my friends. Everyone I love...is just gone and I couldn’t save them. I don’t want that to happen to you, too.”

Han leans forward and rests his forehead against Leia’s, closing his eyes for a moment. “I could have left the Rebellion a long time ago, Leia. But you...you convinced me to do the one thing I swore I’d never do.”

“What was that?” she asks, voice so quiet she’s not sure he can even hear it.

“Stay,” he says. “I stayed because of you and that terrifies me. I’m so afraid of the way I feel for you, but I want to feel it. I want to stay. I want you.”

“But this...this is different,” she tries to insist. “I know what I feel for you, I want to feel it, but I’m afraid of something bad happening to you because you’ve associated with me.”

“Sweetheart, that ship sailed a long time ago,” he says, trying to keep the mood lighter. “I joined up. I took a side. I’ve...turned my whole life upside down because of the way I feel for you. I’m...not going anywhere, and nothing’s going to happen to me. Not if I can help it.”

“Han, you’re making promises you can’t possibly keep,” she says, a few more tears slipping down her cheeks. Han’s words have touched her, made her heart beat faster and faster with every one. She can’t deny this, she can’t fight it anymore and she doesn’t want to.

Without saying another word, she leans forward and captures his lips in a slow, soft kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and tugging herself as close as she can get. When they finally break away, breathlessly and teary-eyed, Leia closes her eyes trying to compose herself. She feels so much better talking things over with Han.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asks, voice soft, barely above a whisper.

She nods, nestling against him once more. “I’ve never been better, actually,” she says. “I’m sorry I ran away earlier.”

“It’s okay, Leia,” he assures her. “I’m just glad we’ve got this whole mess straightened out.”

“Can I stay with you tonight?” she asks after a beat of silence.

“Of course.”

And for the first time in a long time, Leia feels at peace. Maybe all she needed to do was stop being afraid for a moment or two. Regardless if it’s Han putting her at ease, or her own mind, she finally drifts off to sleep and sleeps soundly for the first time in months. 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: a little head canon of mine I wanted to share! Enjoy!


End file.
